As I'm about to head off on a Cambodia, Laos and Thailand sojourn, a well-travelled friend generously came up with some tips and tricks. I found them humourous and informative, so perhaps the world of the internets will too.1) As I already told you - don't eat at a restaurant without anybody else in there. Either go to a place full of Asians (where the food will be nice) or a place full of Westerners (where it'll be easier to order). This way u don't end up in a dirty Thai hospital like me. Also, when eating at Asian place (which is definitely the way to go) - just look at what other people are eating that looks nice and say "i want the same". Easy.
2) When random people approach you on the street (it'll happen about every 5 - 10 mins), it's 98% likely they are either trying to sell you something or rip you off. This is particularly so if they start the conversation by "Hello. Welcome to Cambodia. Where are you from?". Even if they talk to you for 20 mins about nothing in particular, they will still offer you something at some stage. Best way to deal with this is what i call the "walk and smile" rule. Needs two people. Whoever is closest to the person bugging you, that person smiles and engages in very brief chit-chat. The other person says nothing, and keeps walking at the same pace.... and kinda motions to the first person to keep up (ie. arm around the shoulder). This works great - you don't look rude, just in a hurry, and normally they don't follow for too long.
3) When you approach a random person in the street, 98% of the time they are friendly and genuine and won't try to sell you something. So if you need help, don't ask the guy who is offering help - ask someone else.
4) Always ask the price first (goes for taxis, food, board, drinks, anything). Saves you getting ripped off later. (and it's very hard to barter after the service has already been provided).
5) Always ask to see the room before you pay money for it. Check the mattress (look under the sheets. If there's specks of blood, there might be bed bugs). Check the toilet flushes, lights work, window closes, etc.
6) Dogs. They are everywhere and avoid them!! I've met quite a few Asian dogs that fucking hate westerners. I don't know why.
7) Monkeys. Same deal. Don't approach them. You'll see other stupid westerners try to feed/pat them - and if you watch long enough they'll get bitten/scratched and it's really funny.
8) Water. Don't drink it (derrrr......). Don't even brush your teeth with it. Don't order drinks that come with ice. If you really paranoid, don't eat uncooked veg/salad - because it's probably been washed in dirty water. Also "fresh juices" can sometimes contain water.
9) Dairy. Don't drink it. It's often unpasteurised etc. Also Asian fridges have an uncanny ability to just stop working for hours/days at a time.
10) You'll probably be offered dirty rice wine at the strangest of times. Drink it!
11) You'll soon work out there are certain "backpacker routes" that tour operators work and most tourists follow - these include buses, hotels and restaurants all owned by the same group. Normally you'll buy a bus tix, then that bus will drop u at "recommended hotel", which will have its own tour agency, and when you buy next bus tix, it'll drop you off at next "recommended hotel". Nothing wrong with this - but it's very difficult to get off the beaten track this way. It's definitely more fun to just tackle it yourself - catch local buses, find your own accom.
12) If Asian man approaches you outside a tourist site and says it's closed because of public holiday / construction works / the weather - he is most probably lying and just wants to get you in his taxi.
13) Bartering. It's the Asian way. Offer them what you think its worth (pay no attention to their first price). This could be half what they offered, could be 5% of what they offered. They'll look offended, yell, laugh, whatever - but they'll definitely say no. Walk away. If your price had any merit they'll call you back and offer u something else. I've once done the "walk away" 4 times to get the price i wanted. If they don't call u back, just go to the next store selling the same shit and try again - probably with a slightly raised first offer.
Oh and final tip: u will get ripped off at some point. don't let it get u too pissed off (I often don't follow this rule, and get pissed off anyway).
