The Angry Socialist

Attention fellow revolutionaries,

Every man shall be equal if I have to personally fuck each and every last one of you fuckers. Too old to hang with the emo kids; too much struggle for the conformed masses, I've been left to search the world over for a new start, a new beginning. One caricature exchanged for another. Ah, the relief of the sub-culture.

So, help me. Help me un-fuck the world (I already have the catchy slogan down). Help me stick it to the man, the, apathetic, the latte sipping bourgeois and the capitalist pigs.

Help me. But, be aware, it's not all hard work; we will get to wear our drab earthy greys and browns. Berets are all the rage in our crowd. If you really want to get into it, grow some prematurely fuzzy beatnik facial hair. I know you're gonna fit right in. We're also pretty liberal with personal hygiene. So yeah, you know, bathing is optional and stuff. The working, every-man's time has come. Together we shall overthrow our corrupt and evil over capitalist masters.

But hold on; one step at a time. Mum won't buy me a car for my birthday and Dad belittles my ultra-veganism (someone molested a cow for you to have that milkshake). They'll both totally freak if i get one of those really cool wicker tattoos. Life is so unfair!

- The Angry Socialist



Dear Moron,

You are an idiot. Given, what with technological advances in all areas (the information age: all answers, no questions), the world is smaller now than it ever has been. There is something seriously fucking wrong with someone who wants to adopt the struggle of a people from a different time, place and culture and wear it as their own fashion accessory. 'Avoidance', I think is the name of the technical name, that is of course, if it's not down outright superficial vanity. Take off your Che Guevara T-shirt, I don't care how well it goes with your ripped jeans and how alternative it makes you look. I hate you and you're not my real father.

regards, Cam