'The Coolest Guy' is a quest I have to trawl the web for the coolest people in the world. Many people would think Hollywood is a good location to start looking, or our sports stars, and that is fair enough. However, here at LeBlogMac, we believe that it is those unsung heroes who deserve recognition. People who believe they are cool but haven't achieved appropriate prestige.Haven't Seen Nominee 1?
Nominee 2: This is aimed at a lot of myspace websites, but particularly this guy.
Name: BigSmooth0187
Why is he cool?
1. It says so on his myspace site
2. He's cooler than BigSmooths 0000->0186
3. List of people he'd like to meet:
Jesus, Meatloaf, Nancy Regan, Uncle Jesse from Fullhouse, Gumby...
I'd like to be at that dinner table:
Jesus: "So, Jesse, want to own up to abusing those twins on Full House?"
Gumby: "Don't eat me, Meatloaf. And no, I am not apple-flavoured."
----end Coolest Guy Segment----
----begin myspace rant----------
Have you been to myspace? For those of you who haven't, it is essentially the website equivalent of a Balinese beach-seller crossed with a dating site, then add the cream of the crop of our society to choose the media they show (and force upon you) and what they write.
When you enter a myspace site, it usually has a popup window, coupled with a song and or a video playing at the same time. The background is usually some "heaps cool" image the retard/retardo author has chosen- don't be surprised if it means you can't read a lot of the text and just be thankful it saves you the pain of reading the crap.
Luckily, it has no shortage of sluts.- check it out, her name is "It's All About Sex, Drugs & House Music". How lovely. That one is a great example of people using it to explain to everyone how much of a sexual being they are, and how much they 'party it up' with their "XOXOAWSUMxxx:) ('-')GORGeUz FRiendZ#$%^&*)_)+*&^%$". That last one is great- she totally supplies what 'EvRy' boy needs, and also what 'EvRy' dirty old man looking for a fix needs.
Myspace. Keeping the internet full of even more useless crap.
Try the 5-step Myspace Challenge!!!
1) Open 5 myspace windows at once
2) Listen to the many songs that automatically play at the same time
3) Record it and email it back to them
4) Forward it back to them again (Use Gmail or something that doesn't require multiple uploading)
5) And again...
So Anyway..... If you made it this far... Got any other questions that might be thrown back and forth across the BigSmooth0187 dinner table? Comment.
6 comments:
Thanks for the lesson in pop kulcha Lachman. I knew nothing about such righteous internet antics. Tragically, the Department of Defence won't let me view most of the myspace pages.
I think Nominee 1 has to win though, because he has actually achieved something more than being a fat fuck and remembering both Nancy Reagan and Gumby.
Yeah, but he didn't even spell Nancy's name correctly, so... maybe we'll call it even so far.
an appropriate link.
or if you like to digg.
"1 in 5 kids online is sexually solicited. Online predators know what they're doing. Do you?"
I think what I wrote does back up what they are saying there somewhat. SOMEONE obviously needs to tell these attention-craving kids that posting freely about your 'AWSUM' Friday night slumber party with no parents, is not so good if 2 new 'ladies' who show up look like the guys from Little Britain.
Unfortunately it won't stop many of the other more important issues I brought up, such as bad background selection.
That digg discussion was the sweet stuff. Sometimes there was a perfect alternating sequence of earnest do-gooders discussing how to help youngsters, and nasty try-hards paying the shit out of everyone. Personally, I think that paedophiles and Christian fundies are unfairly marginalised in our intolerant society, so here are some of my favourites lines:
spyyder:
if you child is dumb enough to fall prey, then they probably deserve it, and its your fault.
teknotant:
Myspace is a cesspool filled with illiterate gangastas and twelve year old dong suckers.
gab00n:
They should also block people over 18 from viewing any persons myspace who is younger than them. Soon we will have to login to the net with our ID's, that will make it easier to combat online crime and track what people do. I can think of at least 666 crimes people commit on the Internet, with implanted ID's it will prevent all of them.
Landstander (response to above):
eh, people will surely find ways around that. People do stuff, it's a scientific fact! :P
names like gab00n and spyyder make their arguments stronger.
I like the "soon we will have to" line- how many months ago was that legislation passed? My subscription to Far-Right Monthly must have been cancelled.
A) That isn't a myspace page, (it is an msn space)
B) All it does is point to my blog
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