Cam has stated he is unlikely to return to paying out his fellow 'students' of hospitality. He says it is "like shooting fish in a barrel". Luckily, earlier today he sent me this pearl of wisdom which I now realise may be his last words on the matter.
"Why are pregnant teens always fat? You'd think they'd have to be reasonably good lookin' to get some action. Explain." - Cam.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Quote of the Day
"That's like saying you don't want to kiss your lover's lips because everyone has lips. It doesn't make any sense."
~Steve Jobs, Apple CEO on whether or not the iPod is becoming less cool as a product of its increasing ubiquitousness.
To continue the idea- I think it would be more likely that you would stop kissing your lover's lips if he/she forced you to wear lipstick with a strong DRM odour. Or if in order to french kiss you needed to buy an overpriced attachment.
~Steve Jobs, Apple CEO on whether or not the iPod is becoming less cool as a product of its increasing ubiquitousness.
To continue the idea- I think it would be more likely that you would stop kissing your lover's lips if he/she forced you to wear lipstick with a strong DRM odour. Or if in order to french kiss you needed to buy an overpriced attachment.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Coolest Guy Nominee 3: Dave and his 'zone'
'The Coolest Guy' is a quest to trawl the web for the coolest people in the world. Many people would think Hollywood is a good location to start looking, or our sports stars, which is fair enough. Here at UpShake.com , we believe that it is the unsung heroes who deserve recognition. People who believe they are cool, announce it to the world, but don't get the recognition they expect. Get nominees ONE and TWO.
Nominee 3: Dave and his 'zone'
David Podgor is the creator and maintainer of one of the internet's most popular websites, 'Dave's Zone'. Don't be fooled by the "Population:1" label on his very welcoming frontpage banner, I'm sure there is occasionally more than 1 person viewing it at a time. The thumbs-up pose Dave gives you upon entering his website no doubt encourages visitors to stay a little longer upon arriving. It is well complemented by two american flags which, by some feat of technical brilliance, Dave has managed to make appear as though they are being affected by some sort of intra-browser winds.
As you can tell by the web design of 'Dave's Zone', he is highly skilled in the art of HTML web design using many expensive design tools to assist his artistic visions in coming to life. So, "How do I design such a large undertaking of a website and make it look as good as Dave's Zone?", I hear you ask... Well, luckily Dave has incuded a section explaining the history of the zone. After reading the progress of his site I was interested to find that the site hasn't always gone under the 'Dave's Zone' moniker. There was a period of 5 years during which it was named 'Potomac Hobby Inc.', which I'm sure you all agree has none of the razzle dazzle of the current name. This and many more intriguing details on the site's history can be found here.
So what is it that makes this website a pure heroin-filled needle in the contaminated haystack that is the internet's countless personal websites? There are many gold nuggets I have found and I haven't even looked through the whole site. He has a delightful section on elongated coins which is the best resource on the subject I have ever found. From what I read there he has 57 of these coins, what a collection! And I thought my best friend in year 5 was impressive when he collected all the Tazos from chip packets. Dave is an accomplished photographer also. A section devoted to his shots of bridges, skylines and 'cool views' is also worth a look. This 'cool view' of a few buildings in the distance and uninteresting trees in the foreground is the best one I found.
Finally, the section on finding wild mushrooms needs no introduction. All I can say is that it changed my life.
"Think about how you feel after watching TV all day: you feel guilty because you’ve wasted the day and not accomplished anything, and the activity you did to help you relax only made you feel more stressed out. Next time the weather is nice and you have “nothing to do” try to go on a foray – anywhere with grass and mulch will do; your lawn, a parking lot – and then see how you feel when you’re done. If you are like me, you’ll never want to watch TV again."
Yes, I too am often stressed out by watching TV. Can anyone think of something better to do on a sunny day than wandering around a parking lot looking for mushrooms? I can only make one addition to improve that day- once you find the mushrooms, return to the TV and forget about your pathetic life by consuming them and enjoying the hallucinations. Perhaps TV will be less stressful when you watch Spongebob Squarepants.
Nominee 3: Dave and his 'zone'
David Podgor is the creator and maintainer of one of the internet's most popular websites, 'Dave's Zone'. Don't be fooled by the "Population:1" label on his very welcoming frontpage banner, I'm sure there is occasionally more than 1 person viewing it at a time. The thumbs-up pose Dave gives you upon entering his website no doubt encourages visitors to stay a little longer upon arriving. It is well complemented by two american flags which, by some feat of technical brilliance, Dave has managed to make appear as though they are being affected by some sort of intra-browser winds.
As you can tell by the web design of 'Dave's Zone', he is highly skilled in the art of HTML web design using many expensive design tools to assist his artistic visions in coming to life. So, "How do I design such a large undertaking of a website and make it look as good as Dave's Zone?", I hear you ask... Well, luckily Dave has incuded a section explaining the history of the zone. After reading the progress of his site I was interested to find that the site hasn't always gone under the 'Dave's Zone' moniker. There was a period of 5 years during which it was named 'Potomac Hobby Inc.', which I'm sure you all agree has none of the razzle dazzle of the current name. This and many more intriguing details on the site's history can be found here.
So what is it that makes this website a pure heroin-filled needle in the contaminated haystack that is the internet's countless personal websites? There are many gold nuggets I have found and I haven't even looked through the whole site. He has a delightful section on elongated coins which is the best resource on the subject I have ever found. From what I read there he has 57 of these coins, what a collection! And I thought my best friend in year 5 was impressive when he collected all the Tazos from chip packets. Dave is an accomplished photographer also. A section devoted to his shots of bridges, skylines and 'cool views' is also worth a look. This 'cool view' of a few buildings in the distance and uninteresting trees in the foreground is the best one I found.
Finally, the section on finding wild mushrooms needs no introduction. All I can say is that it changed my life.
"Think about how you feel after watching TV all day: you feel guilty because you’ve wasted the day and not accomplished anything, and the activity you did to help you relax only made you feel more stressed out. Next time the weather is nice and you have “nothing to do” try to go on a foray – anywhere with grass and mulch will do; your lawn, a parking lot – and then see how you feel when you’re done. If you are like me, you’ll never want to watch TV again."
Yes, I too am often stressed out by watching TV. Can anyone think of something better to do on a sunny day than wandering around a parking lot looking for mushrooms? I can only make one addition to improve that day- once you find the mushrooms, return to the TV and forget about your pathetic life by consuming them and enjoying the hallucinations. Perhaps TV will be less stressful when you watch Spongebob Squarepants.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Open letter to the editor
Dear Sir/ Ma'am,
I have noticed an alarming trend in your paper's coverage of one of the most pressing matters of the twenty-first century; a complete denial of current trends. Your paper does a very professional and informative job when covering childhood obesity, what is currently 'hot' in the fashion industry, Kylie Minogue's shocking battle with breast cancer, what and who those crazy footballers have been groping on their end of season trips and a complete and thorough coverage of why those pesky petrol prices are so darn high and the best way to combat them with the most efficient shopper-dockets. However, I raise an issue that your paper, like many others, refuses to touch. I am not a {edit: stark} raving lunatic, please hear me out.
The scent that Subway restaurants has pumped out into the public air and oxygen supply must be illegal. If it is not, it should be and soon. The children are exposed to it. The stupid, the naive, the ignorant, the elderly, the gullible, the weak and the lame are exposed to it. The innocent are exposed to it. Everyone is exposed to it - It is unavoidable. It is very alarming. Subway restaurants are using this odour as a form of mind control. I cannot stress enough how alarming this is. The scent wafts through the air as I innocently pass by the streets of town, it penetrates the air floats up my nose then sits at the back of my head on my brain like a thick translucent paste, like a child's edible glue, rendering my thought to a spluttering stutter through a thick, pea-soup fog. Thoughts are replaced with demands. Demands are dealt from a distinct bold authoritative voice.
This in itself would not be a huge problem if all I heard was, "Mmmm, eat at Subway restaurants for a low priced, healthy, convenient meal.", but it's not; i hear more. While it is true, I do hear the previous statement, I hear more; more disturbing things. I hear "Vote liberal; join the union; abandon God; crush the infidels; honour thy mother and father; covet thy neighbour's wife's ass". I hear "serve; obey; destruct; rebel". The scent demands it's confirmatory revolution. It demands it's anarchistic conformity.
Given the chance, the Scent will rule with an iron fist. We will be crushed in It's totalitarian vice. And your paper says nothing! Each day It grows stronger; It's influence spreads. It spreads like wildfire; like ignorance and stupidity. Escape the influence of the stench of one store only to be caught by the next, like the worm on a hook; like the fish on the worm on the hook; like the person that eats the fish, that ate the worm, that was skewered onto the hook. Still, your paper says nothing!
Such a benevolent veneer for such a belligerently malevolent technique. I'm left to wonder where the abuse will end. Will I step through the bus-stop advertisements for re-conditioning shock-therapy? Forcefully suggestive elevator music? They must be stopped while we still have the means.
Thankyou for your time and hopefully you can wield your significant resources to combat evils such as this, not petty matters of fashion.
Cam. Stirling.
P.S. I loved the Fred Basset comic today! Oh my, he does get into some mischief, doesn't he?
I have noticed an alarming trend in your paper's coverage of one of the most pressing matters of the twenty-first century; a complete denial of current trends. Your paper does a very professional and informative job when covering childhood obesity, what is currently 'hot' in the fashion industry, Kylie Minogue's shocking battle with breast cancer, what and who those crazy footballers have been groping on their end of season trips and a complete and thorough coverage of why those pesky petrol prices are so darn high and the best way to combat them with the most efficient shopper-dockets. However, I raise an issue that your paper, like many others, refuses to touch. I am not a {edit: stark} raving lunatic, please hear me out.
The scent that Subway restaurants has pumped out into the public air and oxygen supply must be illegal. If it is not, it should be and soon. The children are exposed to it. The stupid, the naive, the ignorant, the elderly, the gullible, the weak and the lame are exposed to it. The innocent are exposed to it. Everyone is exposed to it - It is unavoidable. It is very alarming. Subway restaurants are using this odour as a form of mind control. I cannot stress enough how alarming this is. The scent wafts through the air as I innocently pass by the streets of town, it penetrates the air floats up my nose then sits at the back of my head on my brain like a thick translucent paste, like a child's edible glue, rendering my thought to a spluttering stutter through a thick, pea-soup fog. Thoughts are replaced with demands. Demands are dealt from a distinct bold authoritative voice.
This in itself would not be a huge problem if all I heard was, "Mmmm, eat at Subway restaurants for a low priced, healthy, convenient meal.", but it's not; i hear more. While it is true, I do hear the previous statement, I hear more; more disturbing things. I hear "Vote liberal; join the union; abandon God; crush the infidels; honour thy mother and father; covet thy neighbour's wife's ass". I hear "serve; obey; destruct; rebel". The scent demands it's confirmatory revolution. It demands it's anarchistic conformity.
Given the chance, the Scent will rule with an iron fist. We will be crushed in It's totalitarian vice. And your paper says nothing! Each day It grows stronger; It's influence spreads. It spreads like wildfire; like ignorance and stupidity. Escape the influence of the stench of one store only to be caught by the next, like the worm on a hook; like the fish on the worm on the hook; like the person that eats the fish, that ate the worm, that was skewered onto the hook. Still, your paper says nothing!
Such a benevolent veneer for such a belligerently malevolent technique. I'm left to wonder where the abuse will end. Will I step through the bus-stop advertisements for re-conditioning shock-therapy? Forcefully suggestive elevator music? They must be stopped while we still have the means.
Thankyou for your time and hopefully you can wield your significant resources to combat evils such as this, not petty matters of fashion.
Cam. Stirling.
P.S. I loved the Fred Basset comic today! Oh my, he does get into some mischief, doesn't he?
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