Chuntometer v1.1.1

another update here

Just a few minor but necessary changes.

WTF?

what does wtf mean? GYPO.

"Leet" Speak

http://cbs4boston.com/seenon/local_story_102221323.html

watch it, I was totally ROFLMAO.

Instructions for this story were:
1. Get heaps of 'experts', but only take a sentence from each, because they might take it in a different direction if they get longer than that.
2. Don't take the lord's name in vain- it is easter- saying 'gosh' is ok though.
3. Permission for urban myths as fact- "there was this one child" is an acceptable start to a sentence.
4. Keep it as short as possible- people interested in acronyms want everything shortened, including a story about acronyms.
5. Use scary graphics to reveal each acronym's "true" meaning in a manner not unlike 'Bert's Family Feud'.
6. Explain clearly that it is fine if your daughter is chatting to a 65 year old man, as long as she doesn't talk to him using acronyms.


We surveyed 100 people about this CBS news report, can you guess their answers?
Is POS on the board, Bert?
....Yeees, Piece Of Shit, cooooongratulations that's the top answer!

for more information on the original Leet speak, wiki it.

The Coolest Guy: Nominee 2 (a myspace rant)

'The Coolest Guy' is a quest I have to trawl the web for the coolest people in the world. Many people would think Hollywood is a good location to start looking, or our sports stars, and that is fair enough. However, here at LeBlogMac, we believe that it is those unsung heroes who deserve recognition. People who believe they are cool but haven't achieved appropriate prestige.

Haven't Seen Nominee 1?

Nominee 2: This is aimed at a lot of myspace websites, but particularly this guy.

Name: BigSmooth0187

Why is he cool?
1. It says so on his myspace site
2. He's cooler than BigSmooths 0000->0186
3. List of people he'd like to meet:
Jesus, Meatloaf, Nancy Regan, Uncle Jesse from Fullhouse, Gumby...

I'd like to be at that dinner table:
Jesus: "So, Jesse, want to own up to abusing those twins on Full House?"
Gumby: "Don't eat me, Meatloaf. And no, I am not apple-flavoured."

----end Coolest Guy Segment----

----begin myspace rant----------

Have you been to myspace? For those of you who haven't, it is essentially the website equivalent of a Balinese beach-seller crossed with a dating site, then add the cream of the crop of our society to choose the media they show (and force upon you) and what they write.

When you enter a myspace site, it usually has a popup window, coupled with a song and or a video playing at the same time. The background is usually some "heaps cool" image the retard/retardo author has chosen- don't be surprised if it means you can't read a lot of the text and just be thankful it saves you the pain of reading the crap.

Luckily, it has no shortage of sluts.- check it out, her name is "It's All About Sex, Drugs & House Music". How lovely. That one is a great example of people using it to explain to everyone how much of a sexual being they are, and how much they 'party it up' with their "XOXOAWSUMxxx:) ('-')GORGeUz FRiendZ#$%^&*)_)+*&^%$". That last one is great- she totally supplies what 'EvRy' boy needs, and also what 'EvRy' dirty old man looking for a fix needs.

Myspace. Keeping the internet full of even more useless crap.

Try the 5-step Myspace Challenge!!!
1) Open 5 myspace windows at once
2) Listen to the many songs that automatically play at the same time
3) Record it and email it back to them
4) Forward it back to them again (Use Gmail or something that doesn't require multiple uploading)
5) And again...

So Anyway..... If you made it this far... Got any other questions that might be thrown back and forth across the BigSmooth0187 dinner table? Comment.

Videopost 2- Thought you were dedicated to your game of choice? You haven't met this guy

Chuntometer Widget v1.1! Oh Yeah!

New Images, thanks to Sam Barratt and Sam Barratt

Get it now.

usual instructions on how to install it:

Chuntometer Widget v1.0.6

new version...minor updates... get it.

Ode to ElegantDGenerate

This is all that remains of the removed blogs of Cam Version 1 (version 2, check this out).

lest we forget camdensblogv1, it is amazing how so many of these are still relevant in the present day. Camdensblogv1 was certainly ahead of its time.

Revised Tourism Advertising Campaign
23 Feb 2006 by phatcam

"Where the bloody hell are ya", is the phrase in a new tourism advertising campaign causing a brouhaha. Used by a hot girl so that they can claim that it's not only massive bogans that use this kind of talk. ...

After Inner Enlightenment?
22 Feb 2006 by phatcam

The path to inner enlightenment almost certainly involves frequent hard drug use. The chance to have God talk back to you during prayer is a fairly large draw card for a religion and if the beatles happen to make an appearance in their ...

22 Feb 2006 by phatcam

just read a bio with a guy described as a elegant degenerate. I have a new title to aim for.

ru486 or are you against it?
9 Feb 2006 by phatcam

(Oh mercy. now that's a quality head line) Hey ladies. late? Red baron missing in action? or just knorked up with another illegitimate child? well, before you head off to down a few ru486s with a few vodka chasers consider some of the ...

ok so the blog wasn't kicking there for a while...
6 Feb 2006 by phatcam

........but nick's travel blog has inspired me to document my movements from the fridge to the toilet to the tv (and then back) once again. i've tinkered with a few settings and whatnot. we also have a brand spanking new look at 'the ...

speaking of wangs.............
28 Aug 2005 by phatcam

for those who were watching the football on saturday- was i the only one who saw a bit more or mark ricciuto than they ever thought they would? in the pants kind of area. well, what should have been in the pants. ...

Chuntometer Widget Update

v1.0.4 is now available

Nick leaves Wednesday, so expect a rising chuntometer level very soon.

"Sumo Kenko Taiso" - Sumo health exercises

"In a severe natural environment, human beings trod the land, persevered and survived, and over time came to walk up right on two feet, behavior which is not seen among other animals. At the same time, humans took on the burden of balancing themselves in an unstable upright posture."

Sounds like the contents of a SPAM email crossed with a David Attenborough documentary you say? Wrong... maybe the next image will explain it all:

Still not sure what it is about? It is a serious attempt by the Official Grand Sumo Federation to improve people's health. It is no surprise then that this guy is thought of by the same people as "The leonardo DiCaprio of Sumo", and this guy is the "David Beckham of Sumo".
Maybe the Australian obesity epidemic could be improved by following these exercises.
This is a standard Japanese thing to do: have an 8-step instruction set for waving your arms. I'm not quite sure how this can be applied to everyday life however. I'm not sure how often in the future I will have the need to "express the wrestler's promise to fight fairly and cleanly". I guess I could talk to the other members of my basketball team and organise that we do this together before a game- our version of the New Zealand All-Blacks' Haka maybe.
Of course Standing on one leg improves balance....IF YOU WEIGH 150kgs!

I could continue commenting for hours on this, but that's where I'll leave it.

Don't work out too long or hard, we don't want you to lose that sumo figure.

The Coolest Guy: Nominee 1

'The Coolest Guy' is a quest I have to trawl the web for the coolest people in the world. Many people would think Hollywood is a good location to start looking, or our sports stars, and that is fair enough. However, here at LeBlogMac, we believe that it is those unsung heroes who deserve recognition. People who believe they are cool but haven't achieved appropriate prestige.

Nominee 1: (rumoured to be a pseudonym Nick Parkin uses)

He wins the first nomination for several reasons.
1. The photo would have been enough to get him in, I especially like the addition of sunglasses to the outfit- I had never realised that the 'Dark Side' was so named because they wore sunnies indoors.
2. His wonderful combination of Old Country music with Techno makes him a hit with the ladies.... =cool.
3. I am not religious by any means, but as far as I know, Jesus Christ always was, as he put it "pro-light" i.e. a big supporter of the light-saber making industry. So dedicating the business to Christ makes so much sense that he must be our first nomination for The Coolest Guy.

MASTER PARKS

Master Parks AKA: Jeffrey A. Parks

Favorite Music	Nat'l Public Radio, Blues, Old Country, Techno
Goal	To be the best Lightsaber Designer in the world.

Faith	Jesus Christ is my professed Lord and Savior. Through God's love, Christ's sacrafice, and the power of the Holy Spirit, I have been redeemed.
"Because of God's love and power, I dedicate the efforts of this business toward the glorification of Christ."

Chuntometer Widget v1.0.2

Those who know Nick Parkin are aware of his knack of getting sick frequently and in more interesting, exciting ways. You know that he has been overseas and every week obtained a new disease that was previously only found in hamsters (you do the math). You have heard his many stories that begin with "So I decided to eat this dirty curry...". And those who didn't know, now do.

The next step is to download the latest version of the widget (link fixed) I made to make the process of knowing how sick he is at any point in time that little bit easier. All you need to do is download the yahoo widget engine and install it. The widget will do the rest- update you every 30mins with an artist's impression of his latest sickness status, and a description of what he is feeling.

There will be more updates to come- it is a bit ugly at the moment but the engine behind it is working pretty well.

The melodic sounds of.....

The Cat Piano!

Athanasius Kircher first described the cat piano in his landmark 1650 work Musurgia Universalis.

In order to raise the spirits of an Italian prince burdened by the cares of his position, a musician created for him a cat piano. The musician selected cats whose natural voices were at different pitches and arranged them in cages side by side, so that when a key on the piano was depressed, a mechanism drove a sharp spike into the appropriate cat’s tail. The result was a melody of meows that became more vigorous as the cats became more desperate. Who could not help but laugh at such music? Thus was the prince raised from his melancholy.

I reckon this sort of piano would be the best possible medium for The Blue Danube Waltz (lalalalala...lala...lala if you don't know it- It is in 2001: space odyssey or for the more sophisticated of you, on the simpsons when homer's in space eating chips). I can just imagine it now, meow meow meow meow meow.....meow meow.....meow reeeeaaaaaaoooowww (have an extra long spike on one of them... or maybe just an extra crazy cat). Also anything by the Pussy Cat dolls would be nice.

Any other suggestions of music the cat piano should play?

Nintendo

This website is experiencing heavy traffic due to digg.com users, so I'll just add some of the images here. Man, I wish I was cool enough to have a nintendo, my parents wouldn't buy one for me. So I didn't have the device itself, let alone all the accessories- this stuff is awesome!

Puns

Why is it that we enjoy puns so much?

So bad they are hilarious ideas for T-shirts:

1. I KNEAD you (a heart with a slice of bread in it)
2. That's my MANE, don't wear it out (Proud lion)
3. Birds: They wing it!
   

They run the cycle- Initial laugh...wow that's bad...so bad it's funny...i'm laughing again...how bad am i that i laugh at that...wow that's bad...